After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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