You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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