i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
