you guys were way drunker than both of me
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
