honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
