I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
