I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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