I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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