My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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