i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The power of my boobs compel you
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
