Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
