come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think people are normalizing furries
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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