kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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