Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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