there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
