'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
