I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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