Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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