Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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