I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
