I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
