That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
