I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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