I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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