When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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