Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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