And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
