Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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