It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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