There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just got carded by a ten year old.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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