I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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