So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
