the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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