I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
