wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize