whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize