so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
