she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
