i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
