I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Randomize
