Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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