Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
