It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Green mimosas i think yes
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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