Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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