I just pynch a tree in the face
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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