I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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