I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
