i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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