honey bunches of taint.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
