at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
