On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
