Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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