I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
