On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
