His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
