During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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